


you feel it burn when you're knocked down

by LJF



Series: we all want love/we all want honor [7]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Boats and Ships, Bonding, Canon Temporary Character Death, Episode: s01e18 The Waterbending Master, Explosions, Gen, Presumed Dead, Sort Of, Toph Beifong Has A Heart, don't tell anyone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:07:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26720407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LJF/pseuds/LJF
Summary: When Zhao came to visit,again, Toph made herself scarce.And then there was an actualexplosion.
Relationships: Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Iroh, Toph Beifong & Zuko
Series: we all want love/we all want honor [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1936222
Comments: 22
Kudos: 311





	you feel it burn when you're knocked down

**Author's Note:**

> On Ratings: I mostly consider Teen & Up to be the equivalent of PG-13. Since _canon_ was approved for general audiences, and I don't think this series is ever really going to get darker, grittier, or more explicit than the show, I plan on keeping the rating at "General Audiences." Is that alright with everybody? (Keeping that in mind, please refrain from swearing in the comments.)
> 
> We've got a short chapter this time, but it's _important_. This is where the series _really_ starts.........

_"Let the fire be your crown."_

_\- Oliva Holt, "Phoenix"_

Toph was bending in her room, trying to avoid being roped into music night (which, by the way, seemed to be happening more and more frequently the longer they traveled), when she felt the _distinct_ footsteps that signalled Zhao's arrival.

(She should have been expecting it, honestly. The past few weeks had been _far_ too peaceful. (There'd been that incident with the bounty hunter and her shirshu-- Toph had _zero_ interest in jumping around the kingdom on the back on some animal she wouldn't be able to _see_ from, so she'd stayed behind for that.) Someone-- she wasn't sure if it was Zuko or Uncle-- had figured out that the Avatar was trying to get to the North Pole, presumably for waterbending training, so they'd just continued in that general direction without ever actually running into the kid.)

She put her hand to the wall and _focused_ , listening to what the pompous old fart was saying.

 _What?_ He was taking the _entire_ crew? _Toph_ might think there were way too many people on this stupid ship, but she knew that compared to the navymen in Zhao's fleet, the few people under Zuko's command were pitifully insignificant. The admiral didn't _need_ them; he was just doing this to mess with Zuko.

 _I need to go punch some rocks._ It was a good thing they were already docked.......

* * *

Zuko couldn't believe what he was hearing. _Everyone?_

Behind Zhao's back, Uncle mouthed _not Toph_. Internally, Zuko released a small sigh of relief, but maintained his furious air as Zhao inspected the wall.

"I didn't know you were skilled with broadswords, Prince Zuko," the admiral said.

 _How could I be so_ stupid _as to leave those out?!_ The only people who normally risked entering his room were Uncle, and, on occasion, Lady Toph, both of whom already knew about the blades.

"I'm not," he lied. "They were a gift from one of the Fire Lord's vassals. Just decorative." No need to mention _which_ Fire Lord, or _why_ said vassal had chosen such a gift for a _firebending_ prince.

And then Zhao started talking about the Blue Spirit. _He knows._ Zuko could deny it all he wanted, but once Zhao got an idea into his head, he wouldn't let it go. ( _Sounds like someone else I know,_ whispered a voice that sounded suspiciously like Lady Toph's.) The question was, what would the admiral do with the information?

As soon as Zhao left the room, Zuko strapped the swords to his hip and made sure he had his dagger on him. _Just in case......._

* * *

After sending off the crew, Iroh stuck his head back into his wayward nephew's room.

"The crew wanted me to wish you safe travels," he said.

"Good riddance to those traitors," Zuko muttered.

"Lady Toph left a note saying she was going to do some bending in the woods-- I'm going to go check on her. Would you like to come with me?" The boy didn't respond. "Or just stay in your room and sit in the dark. Whatever makes you happy."

Iroh sighed as he left the room. _Poor child._ It wasn't healthy for him to bottle up his frustration like that. At least _Toph_ had found a healthy outlet for her annoyance. The girl had mastered the balance between releasing her rage into her bending without letting it _consume_ her the way most firebenders did. He never met anyone who was so _in tune_ with their element. _Even Bumi doesn't have the fine control she does. Not to mention the metalbending........_

He strolled for a while, heading in the general direction of the forest. And then he heard the explosion.

 _"ZUKO!_ "

* * *

After she'd finished pounding all the nearby boulders to rubble, Toph perched on top of one of the reformed rocks and pulled a slim chain out from under her shirt. Swinging on the end, like some sort of pendant, was an arrowhead. _The_ arrowhead. From the arrow that one jerk at the Pohuai Stronghold had shot. The one she hadn't been able to bend.

She inspected it carefully, running her fingers along the smooth metal. It certainly _felt_ like regular metal. She couldn't place it exactly-- though if she had to guess she'd say it was steel-- but it just seemed like a normal arrowhead.

And yet she couldn't _sense_ it. Not the way she could other metal. It was like...... _the exact opposite of her bracelet_.

The bracelet had too _much_ earth..... was it possible that the arrow had too _little_?

_Weird......_

And that was when she heard the explosion.

By the time she reached the dock, the boat was gone.

_No!_

Her hand flew to her arm, then her hair, making sure her two most cherished possessions were still on her.

 _Thank goodness_.

But the _ship_...... all of her other stuff...... the few things she'd kept from Gaoling, her knife collection, the other odd bits of metal she used, her writing samples......

_Her books._

Oma and Shu, her _books_. The same books Zuko had spent hours upon hours copying just so she could actually _read_ them. Because he _cared_. And now they were just...... _gone_.

She heard a strange squawking noise somewhere above her.

 _Is that the pirates' weird lizard-bird-thing?_ Were they somewhere around here? _Did they do this?_

"Lady Toph, have you seen Zuko?" Suddenly, Uncle was there. She'd been so distracted that she'd barely noticed his approach.

_Sparky?_

"Wasn't he..... with you?" She could _feel_ the old man shaking his head.

"He wanted to stay on the ship......"

 _Oma's rage, Zuko was_ on _the ship when it_ exploded _?_ She knew firebenders could survive a lot, but that........

"He's gone," Uncle murmured.

"NO!"

Sparky couldn't be _gone_. He was _Zuko_. He would never just lie down and _die_ like that. No matter how much the world threw at him, Zuko always got back up again. _Always_.

"I'm afraid, Lady Toph....." She could hear the tears choking back Uncle's voice.

"DON'T call me that!" Toph snapped. "He's _not_ dead. He's _not_!"

Because if he _was_.........

If he was, what did that even _mean_? She'd spent half her life with his presence a constant _knowledge_ in her mind. Even during the time she hadn't met with him, she'd still known he was _there_.

She didn't know _how_ to _exist_ in a world where Zuko didn't.

_Sparky, if you're dead, I'm going to find a way to bring you back just so I can kill you all over again._

* * *

When he'd spotted the bird, Zuko had known he had only moments to get off the ship. He had his blades, everything else could be replaced......

 _Mom's mask!_ The mask was the only thing of hers he'd brought with him, he _couldn't_ lose it. He quickly _ran_ to grab it from his cabin, and then _flung_ himself over the side of the boat.

_Ouch!_

As he pulled himself out of the water, he felt something _hard_ hit him in the side.

" _Ow!_ " He looked up to see Lady Toph standing before him, fist extended. Uncle was quickly running after her. "Lady Toph, why did you-"

"You absolute _idiot_!" Was she..... _crying_? Before he could say anything else, she'd _flung_ herself into his arms. "Don't you _ever_ do that again, do you hear me?! You _scared_ us!"

Gingerly (he thought he might have a cracked rib), Zuko raised an arm and awkwardly patted the tiny girl's back as she _sobbed_ into his shoulder.

"You had us worried there, nephew," Uncle said when he finally reached them.

"I'm sorry, Uncle," Zuko said,"Lady Toph."

"Oh, would you two _stop_ calling me that," the girl said, lifting her head and wiping off her eyes. "I haven't been anything _resembling_ a lady in a _long_ time."

"What happened, Prince Zuko?" Uncle asked. "Was there a malfunction in the engine room?"

"It was those _pirates_ ," Lady Toph said, standing up properly and holding out a hand for him. "I heard their _stupid_ bird flying around here."

"No," Zuko said, using her hand to pull himself into a standing position. "Well, yes, but they weren't doing it on their own. They were _hired_."

"Hired?" Lady Toph said, confused, but he could see Uncle's eyes lighting up in understanding. "By who?"

" _Zhao_ ," Zuko spat. "This was a deliberately targeted _assassination_."

_"Go and claim your kingdom."_

_\- Olivia Holt, "Phoenix"_

**Author's Note:**

> One thing I've noticed upon rewatching _just_ Zuko's appearances in Season 1 is that music night seems to happen _really_ often. I can name _at least_ three different times we either _see_ music night, or Iroh invites Zuko to join(, or at least mentions that it just happened). It could just be because we're not seeing _every_ day on the ship, but I still feel like it happens _at least_ twice a month, if not _every_ week. That's a lot, right?
> 
> Also, it's not super important, but if anyone was wondering about Zhao (and any other military officers they've run into the years) and Toph-- most people in the Fire Nation don't even _remember_ that Zuko was betrothed, let alone to an Earth Kingdom girl, and it _certainly_ isn't common knowledge that she left the Fire Nation _with_ him. Toph generally avoids strangers who come to the ship (particularly military officers like Zhao). He _might_ have some _vague_ idea that there's a girl on Zuko's ship, but he's never met her. _If_ he ever thinks about her (which he probably doesn't), he likely assumes she's either a member of the crew or Zuko's "toy."  
> (Toph's self-preservation instincts are a _little_ stronger in this universe-- instead of growing up sheltered in her parents' home, she spent several of her formative years in the Fire Nation, where most people looked down on her because of her _nationality_ (not to mention that for at least two years of that time, her survival depended on the fact that she'd been all but forgotten), so she's learned to stay unnoticed when she needs to.) (Not that she can't _also_ be flashy and dramatic-- within the next few parts of this series, you'll have a chance to see _that_ side of her character, too.)
> 
> Guys, we've got some Iroh POV in this one. It wasn't much, but it was more fun than I'd expected. His mind works in such interesting ways......
> 
> If anyone's a little disturbed by the fact that her first concern is for her _stuff_...... Guys, Toph's not Iroh. She doesn't _know_ that Zuko was still on the boat. Also, from what I understand, her reaction is fairly normal. Rather than even _considering_ the possibility that there might have been an actual _person_ on the ship when it went _kaboom_ , her mind distracted her by focusing on physical things. Things that could be replaced, things who's loss is _understandable_ \-- unlike the loss of a human life, which _isn't_. It's like people who wake up to smell their house on fire and then waste time trying to find shoes and clothing rather than actually _getting out of the burning building_ \-- when faced with an incomprehensible situation, the brain focuses on what it _can_ understand. Iroh's a trained soldier who's _already_ lost someone he loves. He _knows_ what can happen. Toph is a _fourteen year old girl_. She does _not_.  
> No, Toph's not suicidal. She's not considering killing herself or anything, she just doesn't know what she's supposed to do now.  
> I've been fortunate enough never to have experienced the death of a loved one, but I have _lost_ people I cared about in other ways. I know it's not the same, but there's still a kind of grief that comes with it, and I tried to convey that here.  
> I hope my portrayal here, both of Toph's immediate response, as well as her reaction to finding out that Zuko was actually _on board_ , is accurate. Please don't hesitate to offer any critique you think might be helpful.
> 
> And we have one of the first changes to the story that directly contradicts and may affect future continuity (outside of Toph's presence)-- in this universe, Zuko managed to save both his original swords _and_ mask (not just the dagger), so he won't have to steal new ones later. This....... may or may not be important. (Mostly, I just wanted him to have momentos from Toph and his mom, and not just the one from Uncle.)
> 
> Come find me on [tumblr](https://ljf613.tumblr.com/)!
> 
> (EDIT: I comandeered a piece of [fanart](https://ljf613.tumblr.com/post/631750163333054464/axietoh-arms-wrapped-around-one-living) for this chapter. You're welcome.)


End file.
